ROME — In a surprise press conference yesterday, high-ranking Vatican official Cardinal Giacomo Tortellini announced that the Vatican has been developing a new main battle tank.
“As Prefect for the Congregation of Defense, I felt it was necessary to take concrete action to protect the Holy See from her enemies. This is the first new tank model we have introduced since…well, ever. But it’s a pretty scary world out there. Also, I was bored. On second thought, this was probably a bad idea. I’ll probably get fired. Are we still on the record?”
The new tank, which will constitute the backbone of several new Vatican armored divisions, has not been made available for public viewing. However, the press was provided with the artist’s rendering below:
Stay tuned for more.